I’ll tell you what

I’m going to miss you, and I know that it will hurt
So long as I keep telling myself that the big, real loss was you
When really
The big, real loss was me
When I kept loving you
Even when you kept showing me
That your love is cheap

I’ll tell you what:
I am going to make a big, beautiful life for myself
And I won’t ever question if walking away was the right choice
If giving up 11 months in was too soon
Or too late
When I have the rest of my life to build a life
Devoid of you

I’ll tell you what:
I won’t think of you
When my life keeps going
When my work pays off
When my heart has healed

And one other thing:
Maybe I loved you when you couldn’t love me,
Enough or at all, who knows
But that wasn’t a mistake. It wasn’t mine, at least
Because at least now I know
That I have the ability
to treasure tarnished pennies

When you were unable
When you were unwilling
And when I have always been worthy of so much more